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spogglyTitle: Man's Best Friend
Pairing: House/Steve
Rating: NC-17
Spoilers: HOUSE HAD AN INFARCTION AND LIKES PORN
Summary: It's a ~*~surprise~*~ but don't read this if "tasteful" porn squicks you. Or rats.
Disclaimer: I don't own House, DavidShore does.
A/N: THNX TO MY ABORTIONIST,bammel, AND entropy_comix, FOR HOLDING A COAT OVER ME WHEN WE WENT PAST THE PROTESTORS.
Fuck this, House thought. As the price of living increased, so too did the price of hookers. And Wilson, the wily fucker, had changed the PINs of his cards again. With a heaving resigned sigh, which was fucking wasted since no one was around to hear it, he flopped onto the couch and decided to settle for The Tit and Ass Girls Go to Guatemala: Part VI. The action was just heating up, one of the blondes asking the redhead to make sure her pussy wasn't sunburnt, when Steve started squeaking from the other side of the living room.
"I already fed you!" he shouted, not looking away from the screen.
The squeaking only increased in volume, interspersed with little chittering yowls that were harshing his mellow severely.
"Seriously, Steve, shut it before I have to come over there! I'm gonna leave you outside to the cruel New Jersey weather!"
When the rodent did not yield to his authoritative presence, House hauled his ass upright with a groan. He hobbled, caneless, over to Steve's cage, glaring. Steve McQueen did not in fact require more food or water, but was humping the bars of his cage with off-putting intensity. Rolling his eyes, he turned to haul his leg and still-stiff erection back to the tempting antics of the cavorting beach girls, when a thought came to him.
He turned back around and eyed the still-frantic rodent speculatively. Something he had read on a message board about Richard Gere flitted through his brain and was quickly dismissed, but there was still...potential.
Unzipping his jeans with one hand, he lifted the top of Steve's cage with the other. Steve started propositioning his fingers as soon as his hand was in the enclosure, solidifying his resolve to put both of them out of their misery. Screwing his face up, he shoved the rat into his boxer-briefs.
The scrabbling and silky feel of fur brought him over the brink quickly. He hauled Steve out as soon as he was sure his leg wasn't going to give and contemplated the now-calm creature.
"You're going to need a bath," he said, staring at what looked suspiciously like a smug expression on the rat's pointy face.
I WROTE THIS ON A DARE PLEASE DO NOT DE-FRIEND ME
Pairing: House/Steve
Rating: NC-17
Spoilers: HOUSE HAD AN INFARCTION AND LIKES PORN
Summary: It's a ~*~surprise~*~ but don't read this if "tasteful" porn squicks you. Or rats.
Disclaimer: I don't own House, DavidShore does.
A/N: THNX TO MY ABORTIONIST,
bammel, AND entropy_comix, FOR HOLDING A COAT OVER ME WHEN WE WENT PAST THE PROTESTORS.Fuck this, House thought. As the price of living increased, so too did the price of hookers. And Wilson, the wily fucker, had changed the PINs of his cards again. With a heaving resigned sigh, which was fucking wasted since no one was around to hear it, he flopped onto the couch and decided to settle for The Tit and Ass Girls Go to Guatemala: Part VI. The action was just heating up, one of the blondes asking the redhead to make sure her pussy wasn't sunburnt, when Steve started squeaking from the other side of the living room.
"I already fed you!" he shouted, not looking away from the screen.
The squeaking only increased in volume, interspersed with little chittering yowls that were harshing his mellow severely.
"Seriously, Steve, shut it before I have to come over there! I'm gonna leave you outside to the cruel New Jersey weather!"
When the rodent did not yield to his authoritative presence, House hauled his ass upright with a groan. He hobbled, caneless, over to Steve's cage, glaring. Steve McQueen did not in fact require more food or water, but was humping the bars of his cage with off-putting intensity. Rolling his eyes, he turned to haul his leg and still-stiff erection back to the tempting antics of the cavorting beach girls, when a thought came to him.
He turned back around and eyed the still-frantic rodent speculatively. Something he had read on a message board about Richard Gere flitted through his brain and was quickly dismissed, but there was still...potential.
Unzipping his jeans with one hand, he lifted the top of Steve's cage with the other. Steve started propositioning his fingers as soon as his hand was in the enclosure, solidifying his resolve to put both of them out of their misery. Screwing his face up, he shoved the rat into his boxer-briefs.
The scrabbling and silky feel of fur brought him over the brink quickly. He hauled Steve out as soon as he was sure his leg wasn't going to give and contemplated the now-calm creature.
"You're going to need a bath," he said, staring at what looked suspiciously like a smug expression on the rat's pointy face.
I WROTE THIS ON A DARE PLEASE DO NOT DE-FRIEND ME
Spoggly09
Spoggly09: ONE-WAY TICKET
Spoggly09: DIRECT FLIGHT
Entropy-comix: YES THAT IS PROBABLY TRUE
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2008-08-11 05:11 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-08-11 05:12 am (UTC)YOU'RE VIOLATING MY SAFE SPACE
it was a dare okkkkkkk
(no subject)
Date: 2008-08-11 05:12 am (UTC)(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
Date: 2008-08-11 05:21 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-08-11 06:50 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-08-11 09:20 am (UTC)I approve of this xD
(no subject)
Date: 2008-08-11 06:50 pm (UTC)REMY/LINGUINI OTP
Date: 2008-08-11 12:13 pm (UTC)I JUST SAW RATATOUILLE. I WILL NOW NEVER SEE IT IN THE SAME WAY AGAIN.
ALSO, HOUSE HANGS AROUND ON MESSAGE BOARDS FOR GREAT JUSTICE. <3
Re: REMY/LINGUINI OTP
Date: 2008-08-11 06:43 pm (UTC)Re: REMY/LINGUINI OTP
From:(no subject)
Date: 2008-08-11 01:16 pm (UTC)YOU ARE SO GOING TO DRIVE THE MINE CART THAT'S TAKING YOU TO HELL!
*wipes away tear* You make me so proud!
(no subject)
Date: 2008-08-11 06:44 pm (UTC)AHAHAHAHAHHA YAYAYAYY
(no subject)
Date: 2008-08-11 01:44 pm (UTC)M
G
AAHAHH AHAH
AHAHAHAH AHAHAHAH AHAH AHAH AH AHAHAHAH HAHA HAH A HAHA
(no subject)
Date: 2008-08-11 03:28 pm (UTC)(no subject)
From:(no subject)
Date: 2008-08-11 02:30 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-08-11 03:49 pm (UTC)(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:THE SUPER-SPECIAL ALTERNATE ENDING FOR WHINERS
From:Re: THE SUPER-SPECIAL ALTERNATE ENDING FOR WHINERS
From:Re: THE SUPER-SPECIAL ALTERNATE ENDING FOR WHINERS
From:(no subject)
Date: 2008-08-11 05:41 pm (UTC)AND SCREAMING IN HORROR AT THE SAME TIME
(no subject)
Date: 2008-08-11 05:42 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-08-11 05:54 pm (UTC)*This comment does not support rat molestation or Richard Gere. Thank you.*
THNXXXXXXX <3
Date: 2008-08-11 06:50 pm (UTC)(no subject)
From:(no subject)
Date: 2008-08-11 07:39 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-08-11 08:46 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-08-11 10:56 pm (UTC)THIS WAS AWESOME
CHITTERING YOWLS
CHITTERING YOWLS
CHITTERING YOWLS
CHITTERING YOWLS
CHITTERING YOWLS
CHITTERING YOWLS
CHITTERING YOWLS
CHITTERING YOWLS
(no subject)
Date: 2008-08-12 02:54 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-08-11 11:51 pm (UTC)*sings*
Bestiality's, best, boys, bestiality's best... lalala I don't know the rest of the words
I was vaguely wondering when someone would delve into bestiality...
(no subject)
Date: 2008-08-12 05:27 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-08-12 01:30 am (UTC)House/Wilson/Steve ot3?
Write it please? lol
(no subject)
Date: 2008-08-12 01:34 am (UTC)AHAHAHAHAHHA OMG U WRITE IT AHAHAHAHAH I AM SURE IT WILL BE MUCH BETTER THAN ANYTHING I DO
(no subject)
Date: 2008-08-12 02:19 am (UTC)At first, I was wondering who the omc was that had the same name as House's rat...then I looked farther down *giggles*
Will this be a new fandom trend? Oh plz say YES!
(no subject)
Date: 2008-08-12 05:27 pm (UTC)OMG I hope lulz is the new fandom trend anyway. MAKE IT A TREND - WRITE SOME LOLOLOL.
(no subject)
Date: 2008-08-12 10:05 am (UTC)AND THEN WENT "HANG ON, WOULDN'T IT BE RATHER UNCOMFORTABLE HAVING TEENY SHARP CLAWS THERE?"
VERY WONDERFUL AND RIDICULOUSLY AMUSING
(no subject)
Date: 2008-08-12 05:26 pm (UTC)OMG THANKSSSSS UR PRAISE IS TOO GREAT BUT THANK U <33333
(no subject)
Date: 2008-08-13 11:26 pm (UTC)OMG, is NOTHING sacred??!?!?!??!?!?!?
You violated STEVE. Poor, cute, innocent STEVE.
WHY WON'T ANYONE THINK OF THE
CHILDRENRATS?????????LOL!!I'm ashamed at how amused I am over this. Ashamed, I say! Fabulous job!! I laughed, I cried!!! :P
(no subject)
Date: 2008-08-14 01:32 pm (UTC)TIME TO MELT DOWN THAT GOLDEN CALF
OMGGGG Steve is only a little innocent - he violated some poor woman's attic!
AHAHAHA NEVER BE ASHAMED LET THE LULZ HANG OUT
THNXXXXX X 18 <3
(no subject)
Date: 2008-08-17 09:37 pm (UTC)OH GOD AHAHHAHAHAH
DISTURBING AND HILARIOUS AT THE SAME TIME, BRAVO
NOW WHERE'S THE SEQUEL WHERE THEY TAKE THAT BATH TOGETHER?
(no subject)
Date: 2008-08-20 05:44 am (UTC)AHAHAH U WRITE IT
(no subject)
From:(no subject)
Date: 2008-10-24 02:24 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-10-24 02:52 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-10-26 06:50 pm (UTC)RAT PORN! THAT WAS FUCKING HILARIOUS! DO IT AGAIN!!!
(no subject)
Date: 2008-10-26 08:22 pm (UTC)AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHHAH IDK I THINK IT'S SOMETHING YOU CAN ONLY DO ONCE! THANKS THOUGH!